Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

I was tired of fighting.

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

‘We’re right at the epicenter’ - Meduza

You are like me, then.

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

Can Donald Trump use the Alien Friends Act of 1798 to give ALL illegal immigrants an ultimatum: You have 1 month to leave America, after which you will be arrested and jailed for 3 years?

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

The sadness was still there.

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

Do you usually wear your panties over or under your pantyhose?

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

Proposed NASA radio probe could use gravity 'lumpiness' to reveal the insides of alien worlds - Space

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

Be who you already are.

NBA Draft will have tons of international talent, which is to be expected - NBA

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

It’s here now, writing to you.

How severely should I get punished? Please describe throughly. Today I got my result of my test nd I found out that I failed in 2 subjects, my parents are currently in abroad nd I lied to them about the fail but I feel guilty now.

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

I had run out of hope.

And the sadness?

Bianca Censori dares to bare in sheer black top and tiny shorts on NYC outing with Kanye West - Page Six

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

I was tired of trying and failing.

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

What are some uses for cucumbers other than eating them plain or in salads?

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

Have you ever answered your door in lingerie?

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

It’s still here.